The Key
by nairiefairie
Summary: Alec is avoiding the truth but Magnus knows. He was there, he saw and Alec doesn't know how to cope with that. -real world-


The Key

An. I feel like I need a warning or something. This is a little depressing but that was kind of the goal. Thoughts and comments are welcome . Enjoy.

Alec played with the key on the chain around his neck. The metal cool to touch, sharp edges he has in grained into his mind. He knew every groove and each sharp tooth. He ran his thumb religiously over the shape. He froze as familiar eyes caught his from across the basketball court. The cat eyes judge from a distance, that gaze forces Alec to look away. He drops the key as if it burned.

Without a word to people around him, he stood up and left. He didn't want to be anywhere near Magnus Bane right now.

Those cat eyes saw more then Alec was ok with. He knew far too much. Alec's faith in his silence was plummeting with that one glance. Would he tell?

He moved through the school halls like fluid. Rolling through without bumping a soul in passing. For such a tall boy Alec could just about make himself disappear.

It was all in the attitude, the movement and the ability so repeal people without even speaking. It was a talent Alec seemed to possess without even trying. He veered left room one-ten.

His shoulders hunched as he slide down into his normal chair. He sits near the back on the far side of the room. The windows in this room are to high for a view. In summer it's so hot that you could swear your skin was smelting off with sweat and in winter was equally as bitterly cold. Your fingers would end up as numb as your brain.

History was always a bore and Alec was prone to taking the odd nap in this particular class however today he was wired. The caffeine over load and the pile of sugared treats he had devoured in the lunch period had his leg tapping and his heart jittering. He paused as Magnus entered the room followed by his down-town groupies. There was something about the guy that drew in people. Some secret spell that had people signing up to be his lackeys. Anyone would think glittery eyeliner would get you a punch in the face, not a crowd of followers. Alec couldn't quiet work that one out.

Magnus caught him looking raising a challenging eyebrow. Alec looked quickly down at his desk. He refused to look back up even when the bell rang to indicate the start of the lesson.

Alec stared at the wooden table top wondering how much anger went into 'Josie heart Val' being scratched out. The names were still readable but the deep gorged lines crisscrossing trying to hide the indiscretion told Alec all needed to know. That 'four-ever' underneath was a lie.

He sighed folding his arms over his chest before lowering them onto the desk. His caffeine fix was failing. Nothing helped anymore. Minute by minute his head lowered until it was tucked into his arms. With a sigh he let his eyes close.

He was so tired.

Beyond tired.

…...

"Are you coming out to the party tonight?"

Izzy already knew his answer, it was weaved into the way she asked. The annoyance of his continual refusal.

"No."

She huffed, rolling her eyes. She put on a coat which was two inches longer then her non-existence skirt. With a flutter she was leaving she spun around at the door frame hands on her hips and a promise on her lips.

"You can't hide away forever."

He frowned at her. He could try.

He walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out a metal box. He pulled the key out from under his shirt, playing with it. He didn't need to put the key in the lock. He knew exactly what inside. Four items he never wanted to look at again. He shoved the box back in the cupboard. He decide to take a shower and wash the filth from his skin. If he scrubbed hard enough maybe he could get it off his soul.

…...

The shower had gone cold five minutes ago. The glass was almost as cool under his forehead as ice water running down his back. Slowly he lifted his arm up and turned the tap off. He sighed prying his head away from the shower wall. He moved like a zombie robot. Every movement was only managed from memory. He could think straight anymore. He was flying of auto pilot and he didn't have the capability to turn it off. At a quick glance he seemed to be a functioning human being. Thankfully that passing glance was all he needed to pull off. If anyone had a second look, he knew they'd see through.

He sat on his bed with the towel wrapped snuggle around his waist. The water drops running down his chest he sighed flopping backwards onto the bed. He couldn't even bring himself to dry off. The thought of the energy it would take was enough. There was no way he was getting off this bed. He couldn't imagine having the strength to walk across the room to find his pyjamas for the night. Every little thing was so fucking hard. He sighed hear his siblings returning home. There was stumbling and giggling as they made their way up the stairs. Once Alec would greet them at his doorway, mocking their sobriety or lack there of. He'd have a laugh as they'd tell him tale of their epic night. Once he might have considered joining them.

He push down a button on his phone checking the time. It was still hours until morning. He knew better then to hope for a message from a friend. There were never distractions when he needed them. Just four walls and a ticking clock. He wondered if this was what prison was like. Perhaps he really was being punished for all his sins. Maybe this was truly hell? If only it was possible that he hadn't woken up. That this wasn't happening. If only he could have been so lucky.

…...

Alec spotted Camille turning the corner in front of him. If she was coming it was inevitable that Magnus would follow. He darted into the boys toilets. He splashed his face trying to get a grip.

"Are you hiding from me Alexander?"

He jumped. He hadn't even heard the door open. He looked up, his eyes catching Magnus's in the mirror.

"Avoiding." Alec countered. He spun around on the spot to face Magnus.

He wasn't a liar. Not really.

"Is there really much difference?"

Alec shrugged and looked away.

"I won't tell anyone." Magnus reached out as if to touch him. Alec took a step back hitting into the sink. His eyes darting, trying to find an escape route.

"I could help you?" The insecurities in Bane's voice caused Alec to snort out a laugh. Help? He had to be kidding. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, who doesn't need to be helped. This was Alec's burden and his alone to bare.

"I'll be fine. Thanks all the same."

"Yeah, I've seen your fine." He sighed. "Mark me down as sceptical." Magnus forcibly place his hand on Alec's shoulder to hold him in place. Still Alec couldn't stop himself from flinching. "I am here either way. I am not going anywhere."

Alec laughed softly to himself in disbelief. "Sure." Alec had seen how much the people that were meant to be there for him noticed. What made Magnus Bane think he was different? He wasn't even Alec's friend. He had just stumble into Alec's life at exactly the wrong moment. It didn't change things. Not in Alec's mind. He had just witnessed Alec at his weakest. Alec shuddered at the thought. No one was meant to know. He thought he had been so careful. For a brief second he let his eyes close giving him the strength to pull himself together. He wouldn't break. Not again. He pulled away from Magnus without a word.

…...

"Are you ok?"

"I am fine."

"It's ok if you're not Alec."

"I am fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He snapped.

Izzy knew him to well to take offence. Agitated he got off his bed knocking the books he had been studying to the floor.

"Because of Jace." He frowned and she felt the need to continue. "And Clary."

He shoved his fringe back angrily.

"What about them?"

"Alec. I am not stupid. I know what Jace means to you."

"Get out!" He growled. He turned back to the bed, dismissing her.

"Alec." She pleaded.

He bent down to retrieve his scattered work. Slowly he turned back to her. He kept his voice soft and steady.

"I said get out."

"I am sorry." She whispered disappearing from his sight.

He stomped over to the door slamming the door and flipping the lock. In a matter of seconds he over turned his room. He slumped down to the floor in defeat. Alec wrapped his arms around himself rocking back and forth trying to hold it together.

It wasn't working.

…...

Alec stood in the doorway refusing to move.

Magnus stood on the doorstep grinning brightly at him.

"Why are you here?"

Magnus shoved past him and trailed down the hall. He wondered around until he found the kitchen. He helped himself to the fridge like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Where are your parents?" He asked taking a bite out of an apple he had found in the back.

Alec scowled.

His Mother was happy rotting away next to his dead Brother in hospital. She preferred to sit and listen to a machine forcing air into a broken body. She liked to hide away with the nurses and doctors and play pretend. Like there was a chance of things changing. Like her son would magically become alive or her husband hadn't abandoned her to her misery. She was refusing to give up on a lost cause. Anything to avoid look at her other son who put him in there.

His Father however was in the south of France fucking his personal assistant, who certainly knew how to assist in the whole situation.

"Out. What do you want?" He asked warily.

"To invite you on a date Alexander." He purred.

"Why?" Alec asked horrified. Surely if anyone knew, Magnus should have known he wasn't relationship material. He wasn't exactly what you would call stable.

"Because." He smiled.

It did nothing to reassure Alec. If anything it made him want to run upstairs and hide under his covers forever.

Was this some kind of sick twisted game to Magnus. Did he get some thrill out of tormenting him?

"I don't think so."

Magnus's smile dropped. He walked over to a family photo framed on the wall. His glittery finger nail tapped on the image of the blonde in the centre. The inconsistency in the frame. He grimaced turning back to Alec.

"Raincheck then."

He shoved a piece of paper at Alec as he left.

Alec unfolded it to read a number.

He frowned, shoving it into his pocket.

…...

Alec wiped his eyes angrily.

Without thought he pulled his mobile from his pocket dialling the only non-family name in his phonebook.

"Hey this is Magnus his magnificent-self. Leave me a message and I'll decide if you're worth calling back. Kiss kiss."

Alec scowled hanging up.

He couldn't say here. Not with that red headed bint in his house.

He grabbed his coat from the back of the chair storming out of the house. He was to blocks away when his phone started blaring the default ring tone. He blinked wonder if Jace realised he had crossed an unwritten line bring that trollop home. That maybe he was trying to fix things. He pulled out the phone frowning.

"Magnus?" He answer unsure.

"You called me first." He defended hearing Alec's tone.

Alec scowled trudging down the road.

"Um yeah. I guess." He silent cursed his inability to act like a normal human being.

"Why did you call? I was beginning to think you were done with me. That I was unworthy." There was an awkward pause before Magnus continued on like nothing happened. "Not that I mind but I am not use to rejection. Not from beautiful boys at least."

Alec ignored his last comment brushing it aside.

"It's not you that's unworthy." Alec sighed. He didn't need to finish his sentence for Magnus to get his drift.

"What are you doing?" Magnus cut off the melancholy that was slowly slipping across the air waves.

"Walking."

"Where?"

"Collin's street."

"I'll be there in five."

…...

Alec plucked at the seatbelt uncomfortable.

"Want to…" Magnus stopped catching the look Alec sent his way. "How about ice-cream? I know just the place." He didn't wait for an answer, flick on the indictor to turn left.

Alec was thankful for Magnus's silence. He had noticed how the Bane's eyes had caught the redness around his own. That he had refrained from mentioning the scratchiness of Alec's voice. Some things didn't need to be pointed out. Some maybe should have been.

Magnus brought them both a chocolate cone. Alec frowned but excepted it. He was more of a vanilla guy.

Alec couldn't help but stare as Magnus licked his cone. The image did strange things to Alec's insides. He could feel the warmth spreading across his cheeks. He forced his eyes away from the man sitting by his side, focusing on the people walking passed on the street.

"Better?" Magnus nudge him.

Alec offered him a small smile nodding before ducking his head embarrassed. Magnus chuckled pulling Alec briefly under his arm, he gave him a quick squeeze before realising him.

"Lets do something." Magnus grinned widely.

Apprehensively Alec smiled.

"Ok."

…...

"Where are you going?"

Alec froze. He turned to face Jace.

The blonde had his arms crossed over his chest. He tapped his foot in a way that reminded Alec of their Mother.

"Out."

"With that gay guy again?" Jace screwed up his face in a distasteful manner.

"Yeah." Alec scowled. His own arms mimicking his brothers. "What of it?"

Jace shrugged hold back. "Nothing. It's your business."

Alec looked away, fist clenched as he left the house.

…...

"Bad day?" Magnus frowned at him as he enter the loft.

Alec shrugged. He climbed onto the lounge next to Magnus.

Magnus tugged Alec into his side. His arm firmly wrapped around waist holding him in place. It was something Alec was beginning to notice about Magnus. He liked to be in control.

"What are you watching?" Alec asked noticing the muted screen.

"Top model."

Alec cringed but nestled into Magnus's side for the next half hour. He kept think about Jace and the way he had looked at him. It was making him feel sick. Abruptly he pulled himself free of Magnus's grip. Without a word to his friend he took off. He didn't know how to explain it to Magnus. How Jace's reaction was making him want to spew. That the guilt was going to eat him away until there was nothing left. That there was no room for the warmth Magnus was bringing to his life. He needed to cut these ties before it was too late.

…...

It was two weeks before Magnus had finally been able to catch Alec alone. He thought he'd been so careful.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

Magnus quiet literally slammed him into a wall.

"What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing." Alec whispered.

Magnus started to cry, he pulled Alec off the wall before slamming him back against it hard.

"Fuck you." He muttered stalking out.

…...

It was forty-three days before Alec spoke to Magnus. He hadn't intended on ever again but his hands were forced. He rounded the corner of the gym to find Jace pinning Magnus to the ground, his fist raised ready to strike.

"What the hell did you do to my brother? You've made him miserable."

"He was miserable before I meet him. How can you not see that?" Magnus snorted.

"You made it worse." Jace hissed.

"Strange isn't it, when I am the only reason Alec's alive. That everything that's bothering him was there long before I came along. The fact of his sexuality is really the least of his problems."

"What are you talking about?"

"You've really got no idea do you?" Magnus shook his head in disbelief. "How can you be so blind?"

Magnus's anger took Alec's breath away. He hadn't expected anyone to notice. Even with the indecent between them he hadn't expected Magnus to really grasp the depth of his downward plunge.

"Wait. What do you mean alive?"

Alec moved swiftly. He slammed into his brother separating the two men.

"Jace what the hell are you doing?" He snarled distracting them from their conversation. He turned to Magnus tugging him into a hug. He couldn't help himself, the apology falling from his lips. As much as he wanted to stay away from Magnus he couldn't. he was like a moth to a flame.

With a single thought of the repercussions he slammed his lips onto Magnus's.

"Get a fucking room." Jace groaned. Alec gave him the finger without breaking eye contact with Magnus. Jace snorted. " You're welcome."

…...

Magnus was nosing through Alec's things. He had been since Alec had finally allowed him to visit his home.

"What's in there?" Magnus pulled out the metal box. He rattled it for good measure making Alec blanch.

"The things I am ashamed of. The things that can break me." Silently he took the box off Magnus and shoved it back in its place in the wardrobe. Alec paused wondering if he should just keep his mouth shut but this was Magnus and he was different. "I went back that day, when you saw me. I couldn't just leave everything there."

Alec tried not to think of it as evidence.

"I took your pocket knife, the rope and the picture of my Brother and put them in a box. I locked them up and drove to the bluff. I was going to finish the job but I kept see your eyes… " Alec took a deep breath, his eyes closing. "I couldn't do it. You'd know. I, I put my car keys in the box too."

There was quiet for a long time before Magnus decided to break it.

"You walked all the way home from the bluff?"

Alec huffed out a laugh. "Yeah I guess I needed a little time to think."

Magnus snorted. "Little." He shook his head. "I am amazed you didn't drop dead from the hike."

Alec held his gaze. "It wasn't like I would have cared if I did."

…...

Alec held Magnus's hand like a lifeline. He wondered if the glittery man still had any circulation. He took a shaky breath and released the abused fingers. He nodded to Magnus. He needed to do this by himself.

Slowly he pushed open the white door stepping into the sterile smelling room. His Mother looked up at him. She seemed to have aged, her wrinkles deeper, the bags under her eyes darker. He walked around the bed to the opposite side. He took his eyes off her face and looked down to his Brother. He reached down pushing the hair off Max's forehead.

"Mum it's time." He whispered looking over to her. She silently cried, her hand reaching out to him. Their fingers clutched together.

"I know." She sobbed. "I know."

…...

Magnus had insisted.

Alec wasn't so sure.

He held the box in his hands.

The hole in front of him wasn't very deep. Just enough to make the box disappear forever.

Magnus said it was a day for laying things to rest. First his little Brother and now his guilt.

They stood beneath the tree that had brought their lives together.

Alec took the key from his neck unlocking the box. Inside held the last picture Alec took of his Brother alive and the keys to the car that killed him. Next to that sat the rope he had placed around his neck and Magnus's knife that had severed it. He closed it dropping it into the ground. Magnus made quick work of burying it before pulling Alec into a hug.

"Why were you here?" Alec asked the one question that had plagued him since the beginning.

"Oh." Magnus flushed. "I may have been stalking you. I have a bit of a crush. Surely you've noticed my staring."

Alec frowned as Magnus chuckled awkwardly.

"I was hoping to ask you out."

"Really?"

Magnus gave him a long hard look.

"Thank god you're pretty Alexander, because your not very bright."

"Hey." Alec laughed at his teasing.

Magnus shrugged and kissed him silencing anymore of his protests. Alec smiled breaking the kiss. Something flickered in his heart he hadn't felt in a long time. A warmth he thought was gone. He smiled revealing long forgotten dimples.

Magnus's fingers creased them, his smile matching Alec's.

"Lets go home."

The end.


End file.
